Ephemera

1982 - Well done, you went and got born! FYI Prince William just got born at almost exactly the same time, too, so the nurses are about to walk in and present Mum with a bottle of champagne. Any minute now…

1983 - Hey, nice dungarees. And I really like the way you’ve accessorised them with a mixing bowl as a hat.

1984 - Your family are about to take you to see E.T. The Extra Terrestrial; for God’s sake, don’t let them. Why not save yourself sixteen straight years of E.T.-related nightmares, eh? Just stage a kerfuffle outside the cinema.

1985 - Congratulations on winning the coveted role of Mary in the Lady Foster Kindergarten Christmas nativity play. A word of advice, though: maybe don’t shriek “MUM! STOP SMILING AT ME!!” from behind the manger.

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Yes he really is cheating on you: 30 years’ worth of advice for my younger self

I wrote this for work and for my 30th birthday on Thursday. 

I’m sure certain members of my fan club will hate it and I couldn’t give a rat’s arse. 

(via clambistro)

Happy 30th to the best nail model/muse in the business! Oh, and a pretty good writer, too. [winkyface]

(via clambistro)