Ephemera

The ramblings of a lunatic expat.

I am Californian who relocated to Melbourne, Australia in 2006..

I'm a manicurist and a madwoman and I do a damn good job at both.
Well, today is a red-letter day for every American expat who lives in Australia. We have found our queen. No, really - that has GOT to be a drag queen, right? So, every year there is this spray-tanned crack and rack carnival known as the Brownlow Award. It has something to do with football, which I don’t care about. What I do care about is seeing the exquisite bogan princesses (aka the WAGs) modelling their whore couture ensembles on the red carpet at the local pokie palace. Most of the ladies fall short of truly awful and end up somewhere in dyed-to-match-shoes-and-handbag land, otherwise known as THE BRIDESMAID ZONE. There’s always one or two who manage to perform an expert triple-slut with a twist and a SUPAHSTAH! finish. So, imagine my IMMENSE PRIDE when I find out that that the fugliest of them all is a 25 year old *coughyeahrightmaybeindogyearscough* personal trainer from California. AND she is Dlisted.com’s Hot Slut of the Day. SO JEALOUS. Bitch, I’m coming for you. This island continent is not big enough for the both of us. Or that swap-meet Dolly Parton wig of yours. You bettah watch your (very large and manly) back. Click the pic for the Dlisted link!

Well, today is a red-letter day for every American expat who lives in Australia. We have found our queen. No, really - that has GOT to be a drag queen, right?

So, every year there is this spray-tanned crack and rack carnival known as the Brownlow Award. It has something to do with football, which I don’t care about. What I do care about is seeing the exquisite bogan princesses (aka the WAGs) modelling their whore couture ensembles on the red carpet at the local pokie palace. Most of the ladies fall short of truly awful and end up somewhere in dyed-to-match-shoes-and-handbag land, otherwise known as THE BRIDESMAID ZONE. There’s always one or two who manage to perform an expert triple-slut with a twist and a SUPAHSTAH! finish.

So, imagine my IMMENSE PRIDE when I find out that that the fugliest of them all is a 25 year old *coughyeahrightmaybeindogyearscough* personal trainer from California. AND she is Dlisted.com’s Hot Slut of the Day. SO JEALOUS. Bitch, I’m coming for you. This island continent is not big enough for the both of us. Or that swap-meet Dolly Parton wig of yours. You bettah watch your (very large and manly) back.

Click the pic for the Dlisted link!