Ephemera

The ramblings of a lunatic expat.

I am Californian who relocated to Melbourne, Australia in 2006..

I'm a manicurist and a madwoman and I do a damn good job at both.

Ep 2: Decade of Polyester and Sweat — Twenty Seventy

clambistro:

twenty70:

As someone who prefers to look good where possible, naturally a primary consideration going into this project was “WHAT WILL I WEAR?!” Consequently, for Episode 2 of Twenty Seventy, I got my friend and colleague Mel Campbell in to talk about fabrics, fashion and fit.

Get amongst it, ears!

Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Every time you reach the window, he closes it on your fingers. Every time he closes a window, the door locks. Every time God locks the door, the chimney collapses. You will never make it out of this house.

Live Every Day - Mallory Ortberg, The Toast (via emmyinabox)

(via emmyinabox)

thebookworm:

evilsupplyco:

Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.

This is surprisingly motivating.

(via debshock)

Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Porphyria R’lyeh (via moonbrains)

Yeah, lots of us take credit cards now, way more convenient.

(Source: curvesincolor, via somtum)

debshock:

There is a big metaphor here.

Is it bad that I immediately knew this was Toby from the Stanley Steamer commercial?

debshock:

There is a big metaphor here.

Is it bad that I immediately knew this was Toby from the Stanley Steamer commercial?

streetkidsofbombay:

elletiburon:

sometimes when I’m angry or stressed or sad I think about whales just swimming around in the ocean, doing whale shit. like, they’re the biggest goddamn mammals on the planet. they don’t have time for little problems. there’s too much chill-ass whale shit to do.
basically what I am saying is that whales are my happy place.

This is just what I needed. I’m too stressed

streetkidsofbombay:

elletiburon:

sometimes when I’m angry or stressed or sad I think about whales just swimming around in the ocean, doing whale shit. like, they’re the biggest goddamn mammals on the planet. they don’t have time for little problems. there’s too much chill-ass whale shit to do.

basically what I am saying is that whales are my happy place.

This is just what I needed. I’m too stressed

(Source: p4cifc, via thunderdolt)

For some reason, Americans believe that the constant and dirt-cheap availability of Mexican food is a human right. Tell them there is nowhere to get an affordable burrito in, say, Merthyr Tydfil, and they will gape in shock, like you just sang the national anthem in Klingon.

The idea that their country has a lot of Mexican food because, er … they share a 800 mile border with Mexico, simply does not compute.

Mexican food should be everywhere. Like oxygen, or laughter. If it is not, the universe is fundamentally misaligned. Chris, Gwyneth is gone. But at least you don’t have to put up with this ridiculous behaviour anymore.

ayeshamus:

bananacasts:

mckelvie:

samhumphries:

latimes:

Apple says it is working to bring more racial diversity to emoji.
"There needs to be more diversity in the emoji character set, and we have been working closely with the Unicode Consortium in an effort to update the standard," Katie Cotton, vice president of worldwide corporate communications at Apple, wrote in an email to MTV.

F I N A L L Y

S R S L Y

This is great news, but what about some more food diversity? Sandwich? Cheese? Butter? I mean, the set can’t be forever stuck in Japanese culture circa 2004.

Where the fuck is the hockey emoji?!

How about a fucking cheese and taco emojis? Do you know how often I use the stupid people emojis? Never. Cheese and tacos? Constantly lamenting.

ayeshamus:

bananacasts:

mckelvie:

samhumphries:

latimes:

Apple says it is working to bring more racial diversity to emoji.

"There needs to be more diversity in the emoji character set, and we have been working closely with the Unicode Consortium in an effort to update the standard," Katie Cotton, vice president of worldwide corporate communications at Apple, wrote in an email to MTV.

F I N A L L Y

S R S L Y

This is great news, but what about some more food diversity? Sandwich? Cheese? Butter? I mean, the set can’t be forever stuck in Japanese culture circa 2004.

Where the fuck is the hockey emoji?!

How about a fucking cheese and taco emojis? Do you know how often I use the stupid people emojis? Never. Cheese and tacos? Constantly lamenting.