Ephemera

The ramblings of a lunatic expat.

I am Californian who relocated to Melbourne, Australia in 2006..

I'm a manicurist and a madwoman and I do a damn good job at both.

"There are sharks in the water! And you have to pay for alcohol!"

parislemon:

Peter Lauria on the crossroads at which the cruise industry currently finds itself:

Ask anyone who hasn’t been on a cruise before to explain their hesitation and the responses are as predictable as they are universal. The structure and scheduling seem oppressive. The port visits seem too short. The only people who go on cruises are retirees, which is followed naturally by the rhetorical question, “Why would I want to be stuck on a boat for a week with a bunch of senior citizens?” The Wi-Fi at sea is terrible, making Instagramming photos and watching Netflix impossible. The risk of getting sick or stranded at sea is too great. There are sharks in the water! And you have to pay for alcohol!

Much peril. 

I’ve never been on one of these massive cruise ships. And I find it hard to imagine ever being on one. It’s just not something I understand at all.

I lived on cruise ships (Carnival) for nearly 5 years (1999-2004) as a crew member. I should write more about it before I forget it all.

Anybody who has to focus on being real has a problem. It’s like having a panic attack over how you’re prone to panic attacks.

Dave Grohl (via ericmortensen)

Spoken like someone who’s never had a panic attack. Shut up and look pretty, Dave.

(via isay)

Ep 2: Decade of Polyester and Sweat — Twenty Seventy

clambistro:

twenty70:

As someone who prefers to look good where possible, naturally a primary consideration going into this project was “WHAT WILL I WEAR?!” Consequently, for Episode 2 of Twenty Seventy, I got my friend and colleague Mel Campbell in to talk about fabrics, fashion and fit.

Get amongst it, ears!

Every time God closes a door, he opens a window. Every time you reach the window, he closes it on your fingers. Every time he closes a window, the door locks. Every time God locks the door, the chimney collapses. You will never make it out of this house.

Live Every Day - Mallory Ortberg, The Toast (via emmyinabox)

(via emmyinabox)

thebookworm:

evilsupplyco:

Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.

This is surprisingly motivating.

(via debshock)

Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Porphyria R’lyeh (via moonbrains)

Yeah, lots of us take credit cards now, way more convenient.

(Source: curvesincolor, via somtum)

debshock:

There is a big metaphor here.

Is it bad that I immediately knew this was Toby from the Stanley Steamer commercial?

debshock:

There is a big metaphor here.

Is it bad that I immediately knew this was Toby from the Stanley Steamer commercial?