Leonardo Dicaprio Girlfriend: Leonardo Dicaprio... →
Ok, this website is comedy gold. Are these articles being typed up by Chinese dissidents in a sweatshop? It’s not every day you stumble across something that makes Perez Hilton seem well-written.
Lady Gaga Amputated Leg: Lady Gaga Confirmed... →
I have known bortflancrest for nearly 5 years and I’m still amazed at the completely random shit he finds online. I’d love to know what language that “article” was originally in before it was run through babelfish.
Now, if you’ll look to your left, you’ll see all the geniuses who abuse the shit...– via Shit Randy Hates I want to have Randy’s hate babies
Lady Gaga: Again, this is one of those things that’s popular with “the kids”...– Shit Randy Hates: 14. Shit YOU Hate, Pt. 1 This is pretty much the best thing I’ve ever read.
Bort Flancrest and his tumblr of crap: Quick recap... →
Abandoned on a post-office doorstep in the winter of 1876, I was adopted and raised by carnival freaks. In between performing my knife-throwing routine and dodging the projectiles of angry townsfolk as we fled from county to county, I furthered my education by reading ancient texts stolen in the… wat
I just applied for one of these →
So, cross your fingers for me. I also found out that I don’t have to take any sort of driving test (written or practical) to get my licence here. I just go in and give them my California drivers’ licence and they give me a Victorian one. I’m still going to take driving lessons, though.
In which Reddit finds StuffMyGirlfriendSays.com... →
indefensible: Best comment: “She’s so Australian it hurts.” So, if this relationship is “empty” that means I’m exempt from blow-job duty, right? Thanks, Reddit!
onceuponaspacetime: “BEIRUT – A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. … “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s...
Ben & Anneke's big adventure: Sticky... →
After 2 hours sleep and a giant airplane breakfast (yes, there were movies and free wine Matt. It was awesome) we lucked out by not getting the one angry customs guy and walked out into a world of steaming perspiration and palm trees. Any clothes are too many here. Our hotel was not quite ready… Don’t forget to shag on every piece of furniture in the hotel (room)!
benannekebigadventure: It’s 3.35pm. The plane to Kuala Lumpor leaves at 12.15am tomorrow. We’re packed, ready and getting very twitchy. It feels like we’re both getting a cold so I can only cross my fingers that sudafed and spray will prevent the flight from being some kind of sinus hell. 8 hours to go. and counting the seconds These are our lovely friends who got married in Canberra...
Treat acne with coconut oil and nano-bombs →
New breakthrough in acne treatment
indefensible: “Apple will add $6.95 to the cost of international iPads, delayed until May, to cover the cost of the “complementary” tube of KY gel for non-US customers. Yep, Apple fans worldwide have been screwed big time by their Cupertino overlords.” — Hands on with the iPad: iPad apps on the AU store So yeah, that’s The Age’s tech blogger. Classy. How is this even news?...
When you’re thin, white and have money, people think that your unashamed love for KFC is cute and eccentric. I’ll just be over here working the hell out of that double standard.
Here's another point on the food/class issue
If I mention to certain friends that I’m excited to go home and have my grandma’s biscuits and gravy (made from sausage and/or bacon grease, milk, flour, salt and pepper) they will ooh and ahh over the down-home-i-ness of it all. If I mention to the same people that I had a Sausage McMuffin for breakfast on my way to work, they’ll look at me like I just told them how much I love...
A young man riding in a wheelie bin during some... →
We heard this on the news while driving. Ross snorted quite heartily. Do they still have the Darwin awards for people who have died of stupidity?
Mile High Boozing: The Five Best In-Flight... →
In anticipation of my MEL-LAX flight in June, I love nothing more than getting sauced on a long-haul flight (starting pre-flight in the lounge, of course) then topping it off with a Xanax or two. The 14-some odd hour flight (I refuse to fly through Sydney and break up the journey) gives you ample time to get trashed, pop pills, try to stay awake watching a bad movie, then sleep it all off and wake...
indefensible: nedhepburn: Toto ‘Africa’ _____ ...
I suppose I am of a certain age...
Last night I caught up with a girlfriend for drinks, and I was telling her about my new job. She was very excited for me, and told me I was perfect for selling any sort of beauty products. She then leaned close and said, “Seriously, have you had any work done?” I was speechless. “It’s ok”, she said. “You can tell me!” I assured her that I haven’t had...
full is not heavy as empty: Dear People of the... →
if you happen to find me on Facebook or whatever, probably due to that facebook suggested friend thing, because I might be friends with someone else from the internets that you are friends with that the new privacy settings have made impossible to avoid… unless you know for certain that I know who… Yes. This. Please include a message saying who the hell you are and where the hell I know...
Coke Talk: Coachella: Friday Itinerary →
There’s no way we’ll be getting there early enough to catch Kate Miller-Heidke, but on the off chance we make it in by 12:30, it’ll be straight to the Gobi tent. Realistically, we’ll wander in during Deer Tick. If we get antsy, we might catch the end of Iglu & Hartly. After that, we’ll kill… I saw The Specials last year (or the year before?) at V Festival and they were unexpectedly...
indefensible: “Ryanair is planning to make its toilets coin-operated, forcing passengers to fork out STG1 ($A1.65) or one euro ($A1.45) every time they want to spend a penny in the sky. “By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behaviour so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight,” Ryanair spokesman Stephen McNamara told the Daily Mail last week. “That will...
Ross will tell you guys about my dancing skills. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them I can’t dance. I’m not being coy, I’m being honest. I can’t hear the beat in music. Asking me to try to move my body to a certain noise in a song is like asking me to do calculus or speak Japanese. I just can’t, and trying to learn isn’t remotely enjoyable. As for equating...
truth Tuesday? fine.
atsirhc: I LIKED GLEE. there. i said it. I watched it once but I don’t really get it. Probably because I never did any extra-curricular activities in school after the age of 13. And I can’t sing. Or dance. I wanted to like it because Jane Lynch is rad. Oh, well.