August 2009
Neckline Slimmer →
Are you fuckin serious? How is that addressing the lack of elasticity of the skin (which comes with aging), which is the reason most women have “turkey neck”?
Your neck muscles are already toned - FROM HOLDING YOUR HEAD UP ALL DAY.
Morons.
Flaxseed and borage proven to help dry skin →
I’ve been battling epic dryness this winter, so I’m off to get some flaxseed oil supplements!
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 6
Last section! The rest of the article is about cutting and colouring your own hair, and since I’m not a hairdresser, I can’t really judge those tips. Maybe atsirhc would like to reblog this and weigh in on the home hair tips?
Need to catch up? Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.
- First, clean up nails. Clip and shape them, making sure to file one corner at a time and even out in the middle....
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 5
Still more. I honestly don’t know when this will finish. This crap article goes on and on.
Here are parts 1, 2, 3, and 4.
The worst facial in the world is coming to an end:
Your last step is toner, which seals your pores. Anderson makes her astringent by mixing half a teaspoon lemon juice with two teaspoons cold water. “Pure witch hazel or apple cider vinegar on a cotton ball works...
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 4
Oh, yes. They’re still coming. These awful tips are never-ending. Kill me now.
Need to catch up? Parts 1, 2, and 3
Back to the DIY facial from hell:
“Time to slough off those dead skin cells. Make a scrub by mixing granulated sugar with olive oil. The consistency is up to you.”
This hippie stuff really appeals to people. Me included, I’m not gonna lie. There’s a...
God says, don't even think about driving a car,... →
I’m more than happy to go on the record as not being a fan of religion.
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 3
What we’re discussing: www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/at-home-beauty-treatments
Part 1
Part 2
So, we’re still on the at-home facial:
“Cleanse face with whatever you normally use. “But stay away from harsh soaps,” Anderson says.”
Wow, what a great tip. That is priceless. I guess I’ll put away that bar of Lava soap now.
“Once your skin is...
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 2
Join me for part two of mocking this atrocious article I discovered over the weekend. Yes, it seems to have been written within the past 50 years. I know, I was shocked, too.
Here is Part 1
Next up - the home facial. Knowing your skin type:
“…recommends the following basic facial once every one to two weeks. All you need to know is your skin type - normal, dry, or oily.”
Wow,...
Your Beauty Tips Suck, Part 1
There are so many myths, half-truths and old wive’s tales in the beauty industry, and I never cease to be amazed by the ones that continute to thrive. Ones that are easily refuted with a little very basic knowledge of science, anatomy and good old common sense.
This article appeared on The Age’s website on Saturday. I was checking the news while waiting for my client to arrive, and as...
How the Vietnamese came to dominate the U.S. nail... →
Starring: Tippi Hedren
No, really. You can’t make this stuff up. Fascinating article, check out the slide-show, too.
Walk softly and carry a big blush-brush
amywithlemon asked: How do you tell a close friend she needs to take more care in her eyebrows/fashion? she’s looking for a man…and it’s not happening.
I’m such a lame-o, I immediately thought of this ancient joke:
Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
It’s actually quite fitting, because...
Hair today, gone tomorrow
pocketcontents asked: Wax, pluck, shave, electrolysis, laser: what’s best for which areas?
Ok, first of all, do they still DO electrolysis? That is some antiquated stuff, right there. And time consuming? My god. Also, it can cause hyper-pigmentation of the pores in people with darker skin. So instead of that luxurious lady-stache, you’ve got a bunch of black dots on your upper lip....
Bzzzzt. Wrong.
Halfbakedidea asked: What should I do with my hair? Its long and irregularly wavy. I’m open to drastic color change, but need to keep below the shoulders.
Damn you, Suzy. I very nearly typed, “And don’t ask me about hair because unless we’re talking hair/scalp conditioning treatments, I have no clue about colours or styles.” I never learned to do hair. It’s too...
Coming attractions vs right now:
I’ve got a couple of good (I think) posts in the works, but I’m at the nail salon today waiting on a client and I can’t be bothered doing anything remotely important on this cantankerous PC that crashes if you look at it sideways.
So, any questions?* Ask me anything beauty/cosmetics/spa/salon or personal (to a degree!). I’m boooored.
*I’ve saved the questions some...
