December 2009
Lemon water is not food. Neither are flavored...
ladawn:
My “Get less fat for SF” plan has taken me to some strange places online in search of ideas for low calorie meals and snacks.
There are some sick little starving puppies out there and I hope they find a way to get better.
I’ve been lazing on the beach with my girlfriends here in South Australia, flicking through tons of fashion and gossip magazines, reading all of that kind of...
That's all, folks
You and Ross are thinking about having children? Really? I feel like you guys are the kind of people who use “brood” as a derogatory term.
Just because I curl up my nose at your snot-nosed little cretins when you let them wander around the beer garden unsupervised, eating potting soil and cigarette butts doesn’t mean that the fruit of my loins won’t be super-amazing. I...
I just
went for a 90 minute very brisk walk on the beach. On roughly 3 hours sleep. Hungover. High on painkillers (that I took to try to make me sleep).
I feel like I have oatmeal for brains.
OH MY GOD THIS IS FUN (I am still high)
Do you ever think about moving back to America? Would Ross go along with that? Does your family try to get you to?
I haven’t been home in a year and a half, and I’m really jonesing for a visit. Sometimes I daydream about us living there for a year or so. In San Fran, because it’s the most like Melbourne and I refuse to live in any other state aside from my native California. I...
I have a sudden and inexplicable craving for...
(via delgrosso)
I said “carpet fluff” not “crunchy fried golden breading”.
…brb new product idea forming
Ross is awake
FORMSPRING? THE FUCK? DAMN, AIDS-DONKEY! SheeeeeeeiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIT!
ask me
Ask and ye shall receive
I can’t believe you fished your vagina ring out of the dust bunniest, ran it under tap water and put it back up in your guts. If you ever have children, they will be strong, Spartan children. Oh, my question. If you weren’t with Ross (and therefore not in AU) where would you live? What do you see in your life? -Suzy
Oh, you know you believe it. Besides, there have been way dirtier...
Answer Island
Formspring
I think you’re a very neat person. I wish I was friends with you. That’s all.
Aw, bless! You must be new here. Don’t listen to the others. All lies. Except that one thing. That one’s totally true.
Are you a member of the mile high club?
Oh, hay-ell no. Have you ever seen an airplane lavatory? I can’t even bring myself to do a #2 in one, much less have...
Against my better judgement →
you all can ask me some shit. Just bear in mind, you already know what’s in my vagina.
I'm so happy I have the internet with which to...
I found his limit
Me: Hey look - this article says that a study proved that men don’t prefer women with longer legs.
Ross: WHAT? That’s bullshit. Send me the link.
Me: So you can angrily blog about it?
Ross: Yeah.
Me: Ok, let me just find the source article….ugh, it’s the Daily Mail. Still want the link?
Ross: Ew, no!
Waterless hand sanitizers can cause brittle nails →
I know I’m retired from the manicure business now, but this was news to me!
It's 3pm on Xmas Day
We have opened presents, eaten breakfast (ham on toast and coffee), cooked and eaten Xmas lunch (ham, prosciutto-wrapped turkey, stuffing, green beans, roast potatoes, pumpkin & parsnip), killed a bottle of French bubbles and a bottle of domestic rosé, played klop and bocci, and started a fire outside (even though it’s almost 80f and I’m wearing a sunhat and sunscreen).
I declare...
The baby Jesus loves disclaimers
I am not responsible for the posts on Stuff My Girlfriend Says. Every day, I say at least a dozen awful and offensive things before dinner (most of them way too wrong to end up online - actually, that’s my goal - all the posts you see are my failures). I never know what the hell is going to end up on there. Half the shit I don’t even remember saying until after he posts it.
So...
Aussies believe in miracles, UFOs →
asunburntcountry:
wooliebear:
occultist:
Quote from the article:
Although Australians are widely considered to be a secular people, nearly half of the population believe in psychic powers such as extrasensory perception, while 41 per cent believe in astrology.
The findings show women are much more likely to believe in God and other phenomena than men, with the exception of UFOs: while 34...
If you are trying to wake someone up with a...
funsizebytes:
Because your technique apparently sucks.
And not in the good way.
(Also there is literally no better way to wake up. Ever. This is the most appropriate use of the word literal ever. We could exist as a species for another 4 gabillion years and no better way will ever be discovered. I say this with absolute certainty. It also eliminates any concerns that your partner will complain...
My impression of the signs along I-85 across South...
adamisacson:
(Inhale)
WelcomeToSouthCarolinaJesusFIREWORKSCollegeFootball ChristAdultNoveltiesSUPPORTOURTROOPSJesusGunsBobJonesUniversity DaleEarnhardtAmmoOUTLETS250STORESAbortionIsMurder FireworksChristXXXMoviesCouplesWelcomeGUNSTheseColorsDon’tRun LIVEBAITByTheWayDidWeMentionJesusWelcomeToNorthCarolina.
Thank you.
Replace “FireworksLivebaitBobJonesUniversity”...
whileyouweresleeping:
“The trouble with living with a human rights lawyer is that you can never get the moral high ground. When I first asked Geoffrey to change a nappy he replied: “But I’ve got 250 people on death row in Trinidad.” What could I say? But after another 4,000 nappies, I replied: “Oh let them die.” After the second baby, I was like: “I’m going to go there and kill them myself. Human...
Need vs Want
Things I need to do:
Write a ton of blog posts for the website of my old job (for pay)
Start a travel blog for my new job
Stop stressing about the fact that I’m going to have to get up at 6am and work until 7pm (or later) starting next month.
Get outside and go for a walk now that I’m feeling up to it
Things I want to do:
Read trashy magazines
nap
Think up more Brittany Murphy...
