Ephemera

The ramblings of a lunatic expat.

I am Californian who relocated to Melbourne, Australia in 2006..

I'm a manicurist and a madwoman and I do a damn good job at both.
Fark history has been made. We finally met Sokeri. It only took a decade.

Fark history has been made. We finally met Sokeri. It only took a decade.

For Todd - I finally got a photo of me in the shirt -back in the homeland, no less.

For Todd - I finally got a photo of me in the shirt -back in the homeland, no less.

claviusrobinsky:

So I hung out with this expat last night. Right after this photo was taken we broke into Together at Last from Annie.

It’s been a good couple of days hanging with my old crew. I really, really needed this. Thanks for keeping us all together, Clint. May we all be friends for another 20 years and then some x

claviusrobinsky:

So I hung out with this expat last night. Right after this photo was taken we broke into Together at Last from Annie.

It’s been a good couple of days hanging with my old crew. I really, really needed this. Thanks for keeping us all together, Clint. May we all be friends for another 20 years and then some x

indefensible:

In case you thought age was going to change her at all, you ought to know that she just walked around the house naked yelling ‘LOOK AT MY BOOBS’.

What?

indefensible:

Every time Erin goes abroad without me and gets a burner sim card, I assign it a new name in my address book.

Anyhow, have you met my girlfriend?

Her name Is Bunghole Frealsies.

,.÷

I may be sending a lot of gloating pics. In-n-Out Burger pics.

So anyway I’ve consumed ten times the recommended yearly intake of refined sugar in three days.

swamibooba:

Something something did you know your diet influences the taste of your semen? A couple of years ago I taught myself to distinguish between vegetarians and meat lovers. And someone on the internet, who is involved with someone else on the internet so both shall remain nameless, pointed out that they found a convincing reason to get their partner to stop taking fish oil supplements beyond mere fishy burps.

It’s ok, everyone knows I got a mouthful of fish oil jizz from Ross about 5 years ago. 🐠🐟🐬🐳

Imagine, for a moment, that you must quit using Facebook forever, starting right now. No more posting to Facebook or checking Facebook for the rest of your life. But don’t worry, you can still e-mail all those friends. Does that make you feel panicky? If you’re panicky, it’s a clue. Maybe you’ve been on Facebook for most of your life, so this kind-of-addicted feeling seems normal to you. It’s not normal. I was talking with a woman in her 50s this weekend, who said to me, “I wish I could quit Facebook but it’s so addictive: ‘Oh, this person said this, that person said that, and oh, this person is taking boating lessons, let’s look at all the pictures of the boat,’ and then before I know it two hours have passed and I don’t even KNOW the person taking boating lessons!” This is what it feels like when your connections with a platform are being strengthened, as opposed to the connections with the people you love: you can spend two hours on Facebook looking at the boating lessons of people you don’t even know. This is very convenient for Facebook.

I Left Facebook, And You Can Too (via mayafish)

Maybe the bigger question is “why are you Facebook friends with people you don’t know?”
Since moving to Australia from the US 8 years ago (which not half my life, Jesus, how young are you people? Facebook has barely been around a decade) , and joining Facebook about 6 months after I moved (to be followed by Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and a few other social media platforms that didn’t stick), I’ve been able to maintain my friendships back home and even reconnect with people I lost touch with during all of my travels. 15 years ago, when I worked on cruise ships, you kept in touch with everyone back home via group emails (which always felt too much like a Xmas newsletter to me). I’ve gone dormant on Facebook for periods of time. Tomorrow I’m going home for the first time in 2 years, and on Saturday I’ll see a group of my oldest friends, some of whom I haven’t seen for 7 years. Facebook (all of it’s privacy issues aside) and other social media is a tool. You use it. Don’t blame it because you sat around looking at pictures of people you don’t know. Like a fucking tool.
This post brought to you by my lack of coffee.

pleasedate:

BECAUSE I’M A FUCKEN POLAR BEAR CUNT

pleasedate:

BECAUSE I’M A FUCKEN POLAR BEAR CUNT

gannetguts:

Tried to match my nails

Aaaaahhhh love it! Happy birthday to my birthday twin - hope you find your dream home here in Melbs!

gannetguts:

Tried to match my nails

Aaaaahhhh love it! Happy birthday to my birthday twin - hope you find your dream home here in Melbs!

I'm awake. She's asleep. I touched her hair.

  • Me: Are you ok, beautiful?
  • Her: (groggy) I was dreaming of a Sausage McMuffin. Then I woke up and I didn't have one.
  • Me: Then you better go back to sleep.
  • Her: But it's after 10.30 in sleep. I don't want a burger.
  • FUCK YOU DREAM MCDONALDS

Y’know

indefensible:

I’ve always thought there ought to be a flag for images and albums on your phone’s photo library that hid and encrypted them and required a separate password to unlock/view/sync..

It would have stopped my mum seeing my cock-shots dozens of times when she just wanted to scroll through my holiday snaps.

Or whatever.

Excuse me? MY cock shots.

clambistro:

You know you’re at @erinmargrethe’s house when…

Just another day toiling in the mines

clambistro:

You know you’re at @erinmargrethe’s house when…

Just another day toiling in the mines

Disappointed Hitchens sees you looking at JLaw’s stolen photos.

Disappointed Hitchens sees you looking at JLaw’s stolen photos.